What Husbands Want

Ways that a Wife Can Bless Her Husband taken from ideas given by a group of husbands.

1. Pray for your husband daily, not just casually (“God Bless Hubby”) but for specific areas of need and blessing.

2. Thank God for your husband’s strengths, for the growth you see, and for the kindnesses that he shows you and the needs he meets in your life.

3. Meditate often (at least once a week) on the Scriptures that teach your responsibilities and position in the home.

4. Listen to him. Try to really hear what he is saying when he communicates with you.

5. When he seems perplexed and troubled, do not pressure him. Support him by prayer, your presence, and words of encouragement.

6. Be ready to share your observations and insights in a meek spirit, but openly and honestly, when he asks you. You can be his best counselor. You can anchor him when he needs it most.

7. Encourage him. Do not nag him, or boss him. Do not argue with him even if you are sure he is wrong. He may have something in mind that you are not aware of or do not understand. Ask his counsel and advice.

8. Only say upbuilding and affirming things about your husband to others. Do not criticize him even in a joking manner. Very rarely should you find yourself sharing anything about his faults or failings, and then only with someone who is truly in a position to help.

9. Bless your husband in public. Do not apologize for his background, weaknesses or failures. This will build up your reverence for him and help establish the trust that you should both have for each other.

10. If your husband has failed, entreat him in meekness, don’t exaggerate the issue or berate him.

11. Let him know that you want him to be your leader not only by what you say but by what you do. You get that message across by the way you respond to the leadership he does give you.

12. Seek to please your husband even when he does not spell out what he wants you to do. Try to determine what his heart’s desire is and do it as fully as possible.

13. Teach your children to honor him, respect him, and bless him. You do this best by your own example.

14. Depend on him. Be very sensitive to areas in which he wants you to act independently. Do not run away with this responsibility. Handle it carefully. If in question, choose dependence not independence.

15. Seek opportunities to serve your husband in love. Find ways to show him that he is your “lord.”

16. Be ready to make changes in your day or schedule to accommodate his needs or desires, especially if you run a home business and he needs you or the children to serve in some capacity.

17. When you need to make an appeal, prepare carefully. Choose your words wisely. Choose the time well so that you can have his attention and time to explain yourself. That way you can be sure that he understands you. When he is weary, at the end of a long day is not a good time to communicate weighty matters.

18. Always let your husband have the last word, the deciding vote, the majority rule.

19. Don’t say “I told you so.”

20. Show appreciation for the way he provides for you.

21. Let your husband know that you love his attention to you and his singleness of heart for you. Bask in this attention and help him relate discreetly to other women especially by letting him know what makes women respond.

22. Reserve yourself, your beauty, and your charm for him. Maintain true modesty and reserve while relating to other men.

There are many, many ways to bless your husband that were not even touched here. These are just a few of the ways some husbands discussed that would make them feel honored. Women tend to think of kisses, hugs, notes in lunch boxes and a meal spent together alone. I am sure that our men appreciate all of those things. But as I typed this list that husbands had made, I was extremely impressed with their need for support and encouragement. They need and want a visible show of this. It is born out in our everyday life in the way we walk and talk, and in the way we respond to their leadership, plans, and desires.

I think that many times we ladies are blind to how much contriving and planning we do to get our own way. Perhaps not consciously, but nonetheless we often tend to get what we really desire. We think we just make good valid appeals. These appeals are in order sometimes, but where is your heart? Is it where your husband can safely rest or are you always pushing the limit? Are you always going to bat for your young people and helping your husband to see why this or that is such a good idea? No doubt you do have good ideas that need to be shared, sometimes. But I am fully persuaded that I, all too often, am really blind to my husband’s true desires. Let us pray for each other and meditate on how we can be women whose husbands can safely trust in.

Let us be supporters, encourages and blessers. Let us affirm our husbands and be there for them. I think it is especially important as our families grow up and husbands need to make boundaries and guidelines for our young people. Often these guidelines are hard to make and even harder to implement. Let us back our husbands up and help them in their sincere desire to guide our families right. We can make their job infinitely easier and thus build a relationship of trust that deepens through the years, rather than ones that erode as our young people grow in maturity.

This list and comments came from:

http://fernshomestead.com/blessinghusband.html

I was made aware of it by my Facebook friend, Debbie Allen-Tuott.  Thank you, Debbie!

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What I see in this is the man’s need for respect, especially from his wife.  I talked about his need for respect in this post.

Some women think these ideas are outdated.  They think they are more like the views of society in the 50’s.  They think that these reflect a time when men were considered superior to women, and women did not have equal rights.  Our standard should be the Bible, not what society says.   Societal values have changed with the times.  But biblical values haven’t.

This is a list made by real men.  A major theme I see is that husbands want their wives to show them respect.  Really now, what is so bad about that?  When a woman treats her husband disrespectfully, does that cause peace and harmony in the marriage?  Does that create a good atmosphere in the home?  These men are also asking for patience, love, and encouragement from their wives.  Is that so unreasonable?

As Christians, we should see this as our reasonable service.  Even the part where we let the husband have the last word, the deciding vote.  The Bible tells us that he is our head.  He is accountable to God for the decisions that he makes and how he takes care of his family.  He is to honor her and let his wife express her opinion, but the final decision is on his shoulders.  In reality, this takes the burden off of the wife.  If she bears this kind of burden, it is a burden that she was not intended to bear.  Men were made to carry these responsibilities.  If this place is usurped by his wife, a man does not feel like a man.  And this leads to lots of other relationship problems.  Which lead to problems in every area of life.  Man is made to be a leader.  Let him lead.

A man has different needs than a woman.  Okay, that’s just how it is.  He needs respect, honor, encouragement, cheerleading, and quiet understanding even when he’s not able to express himself well.  The way I see it, this is the way of love.  How can we go wrong showing love to our husbands?