Changed By Love

Did I hear him right? Did this really just happen? Again?

We were just getting caught up from the 9 months of unemployment before he landed this job. We finally got to the place where I felt free to buy a few things besides absolute essentials. And maybe a few Christmas gifts for the kids.

Now he calls and tells me that the company let him go. Two weeks before Christmas.

I can’t believe this is happening.

But it’s not a joke. He wouldn’t joke about something like this.

Now instead of proceeding with plans of buying gifts for Christmas and health supplements that I’ve been putting off buying until our bills were paid off, I have a finite amount of money that I will have to be very careful with until we know where our next money will come from. And I was going to buy new clothes for the daughter who wears the same tattered skirt every day. I wanted her to look nice in the family picture I wanted to have taken. Oh well, who am I to make plans.

But I’m not depressed. I’m not discouraged. I’m a little thrown off, but I’m not worried. I’m actually happy and at peace. Why? Because I know that God has something better planned for us. And my husband is taking this well. He is not depressed or discouraged, either. He is not angry. He knows that God will take care of us. He knows that God has something really good in store for us – something better than the job he just lost.

This time is different. When he lost his first Texas job last November, he took to the computer and stayed on it for 9 months trying to make something happen. He got his second Texas job at the end of that 9 month period because of a contact that our son’s boss made for him. It didn’t come from any of the work he did on the computer.

So now he’s convinced that it’s all in God’s hands, and he can’t force anything to happen.

Twelve years ago, we gave our lives completely to God and made the commitment that we wouldn’t do anything unless He told us to.

And I prayed a dangerous prayer. I prayed for a Baptism of Fire. Neither of us wanted to live a mediocre life. Gary didn’t want to just go to a job every day and come home, eat, sleep and do the same thing the next day. We read in the Bible that signs and wonders are to follow those who believe.

We wanted to be able to move in the power and leading of the Holy Spirit. I just knew that the only way we could be made fit for such a life was to experience a Baptism of Fire. So I asked for that.

Twelve years later, I can tell you that I believe in the supernatural power of God in a way now that I only thought I believed back then. I have seen God do miracles for us that I would never have believed He would do for little ole me. He has revealed His great love for me personally in a way that has changed the way I see myself, Him and others.

He sustained us in our own house in Ohio for 4 years with no income. Then He allowed us to lose our house so that we had to move to an even higher level of faith and trust Him in a faraway place – Arizona – where we were strangers with little money and no income. Then He led us to a place of great spiritual warfare, IHOP-KC, and allowed us to camp there for a while (3 years) with a minimum of stability and supply.

Through all of this He gave us encouraging words, gifts of money and necessities through His people who heard His voice. At one point, as we were transitioning from abject poverty to a fairly comfortable lifestyle, He blessed us with $20,000 from a totally unexpected source – a couple at IHOP who seemed to be worse off financially than we were!

They were sowing for us to have our own home. But they said that they knew that things come up so they told us to feel at liberty to use it for whatever we needed it for. My kids needed dental work, so a good portion of that money went to that. Then we ended up moving from one house to another and then one state to another, and now that nest egg is all gone.

But we know that God has bigger things than that in store for us. He has given us big dreams.

So we are not downcast.

When Gary first called and told me he lost his job, I wrote the first entry in my new planner – “Gary lost his job today. It’s a new day”. So far that is all that’s written in my planner.

We’ve been through worse before. And God has been more than faithful. He has refined and purified our faith.

Why should we be downcast?

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Arise, shine;
For your light has come!
And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.
2 For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth,
And deep darkness the people;
But the Lord will arise over you,
And His glory will be seen upon you.

I have HOPE this Christmas. And JOY!

He is answering our prayers.

And I’ve prayed some doozies!