Changed By Love

Changed By Love

Following the Lamb wherever he goes… Revelation 14:4

Who Says You’re Behind?

 

Contrary to popular opinion, there is no such thing as behind in education. Hence, there is no such thing as behind in homeschooling. I want to take some pressure off of you if you have felt guilty or stressed or incapable of teaching your children correctly.

Don’t feel like you’re behind. Who says you’re behind? Whose standard are you not meeting up to? The individuals who developed the scope and sequence or the order of skills taught in a curriculum were guessing the average ages and stages of readiness for certain skills and knowledge. It’s arbitrary. Don’t think it’s set in stone. Don’t act like it’s a law. It might help as a general guideline for what you want to introduce to your child and when, but remember to look for readiness. You can tell if they’re ready for it or not. Look for the signs.

All of math can be taught in 8 weeks, according to this article by besthomeschooling.org.

So if your child is “behind” in math, maybe you should evaluate how you’re teaching math and see if you can get through it more quickly. I’m going to, that’s for sure! I have heard great things from Dr. Melanie Wilson, aka psychowith6, about a curriculum that cuts to the chase and helps you learn math fast. In fact, that’s what it’s called: Learn Math Fast! You can find her reviews of this curriculum here.

What about the other subjects? Language Arts does not have to be broken up into 5 different topics, such as Reading, Spelling, Vocabulary, Handwriting, and Grammar. And let’s not forget about Literature, Composition, Speaking, Creative writing, prose, poetry, and research papers. We can easily combine those first five topics as we do those last seven subjects. We use all of the basic skills when we study Literature. We use the basic skills when we write stories and research projects.

Of course we need to teach reading first of all. And handwriting must be taught before the other subjects can be adequately studied. But when the basic skills are mastered, they don’t need to be singled out in workbooks with contrived, irrelevant, and unrelated sentences and exercises to continue practicing them. They should be used, put into practice, with real writing. By teaching language arts this way, your student may be able to accomplish the objectives much more quickly and efficiently than by using workbooks.

There are quicker, more efficient ways to let your kids study science and history, too. Let them study the topics they want to learn about. They may not cover all the topics in a typical textbook, but does that really matter in the scheme of things? What will be relevant to their lives after they graduate? Are the typical topics vital to their lives after high school? Probably not.

If there are certain subjects that matter to you and that you feel your child absolutely needs to know, then make sure he studies them.

But don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself or your child to cover everything in the book or finish by a certain time.

Deadlines help to make sure we get things accomplished, but keep expectations reasonable and look for the quality of the work and the results of the efforts more than the quantity or speed of accomplishment.

If you will change your mindset to one that says, “We are not behind. We are learning what my child wants to learn about, while using skills that he has learned and honing them even more”, homeschooling will become more enjoyable, productive, and relevant to real life.

  • And you will no longer hear the voice of that terrible taskmaster screaming at you that “you’re behind”.

 

 

Self-education is the Only Way to Learn!

 

 

In a related topic to individualized instruction, a goal that we as homeschoolers should be endeavoring to attain is self-education.

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.”
-Albert Einstein

“Self-education is the only possible education; the rest is mere veneer laid on the surface of a child’s nature.”
― Charlotte Mason

“I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.”
– Socrates

“Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.”
– Isaac Asimov

“Real education must ultimately be limited to men who insist on knowing; the rest is mere sheep-herding.”
– Ezra Loomis

“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth learning can be taught.”
— Oscar Wilde

When we think about teaching and learning, we think of a dispenser of knowledge standing in front of a group of students who are soaking up everything (?) the lecturer or instructor intends for the students to absorb into their brain.
But is that what learning is really all about? Is that how you learn best? Think about how you learn. If you hear a speaker, and even if you are enthralled with what he is saying – even if you are hanging on every word – if you never think about their speech again, do you really remember it? What helps you to remember thoughts, ideas, and concepts? Don’t you have to keep thinking and meditating deeply and for long periods of time, engaging your whole brain. Don’t you have to use different learning faculties, such as writing, rereading your notes, discussing your thoughts with others, and even imparting the information to another person (teaching) in order to make the knowledge your own and embed it deeply into your brain so that it becomes a part of your memory?

There really is no such thing as teaching. There is only learning. Learning depends on the person who is trying to gain new information. If they are trying to make it their own, then the knowledge will most likely sink in. If the learner is not putting forth the effort to learn deeply, then the teacher has no power to cause learning to take place. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. In the same way, you can lead a student to knowledge, but you can’t make him think.

Read and listen to this article and podcast about teaching and learning from the University of Pennsylvania.
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/the-objective-of-education-is-learning-not-teaching/

So in your homeschool, make sure that you are giving your children plenty of time to think. You may ask questions to encourage further thinking. But give them time to think deeply about the answers to those questions. This is a missing element in the school-style of education. The students are given all of the information that the teacher wants them to spew forth on the exam, but real learning doesn’t occur, because the time to reflect, process, and meditate is not given to the students. That process is not even addressed or encouraged in most classrooms. Students are told that they have to memorize certain facts that will be covered on the test, and then they are evaluated on how well they memorized all of those facts.

We want something more for our students. We want them to be able to think deeply, and to ponder all sides of a matter. We want them to develop their own relationship with the information. We want them to care about it and make it their own knowledge. So, in order to make this happen, we need to lead them along to further thinking and questioning. We need to give them time to think and time to put in their own words what they are thinking about. Give them good mind food. Give them lofty ideals and hopes and aspirations to dream about. Give them books to read that inspire courage and conviction. Read stories to them about people who made a difference in the world – people who were honest and generous and filled with love for God and their fellow man.

When we do these things at home – when we give them great ideas and concepts to think about and then give them time to think about them and a way to express what they are thinking, we will help them to achieve a deeper, more lasting learning that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

This is self-education at its finest.

And you have the perfect opportunity to kindle this in your children when you homeschool them in this way.

 

The Women Who Walked with Jesus

So Many Mary’s!

Can you imagine walking with Jesus when He lived on earth? I would have loved that! I should have been named Mary.

I could have been Mary, the mother of Jesus. Now there’s a woman who played no small part in Jesus’ life. She carried Him in her womb, gave birth to Him, nourished Him, and taught Him to walk and talk and use good manners. She probably taught Him to pray and instructed Him in the ways of God and told Him about the things God did for the children of Israel. She may have led Him to faith in God!

There’s no doubt that she had a great influence on the greatest Man who ever lived.

For instance, there’s the time that Mary insisted that Jesus do a miracle at the Wedding at Cana when they ran out of wine. That turned out to be a good thing – the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry.

She had a mother’s influence over her son. I’m sure she loved Him as no other. Her love probably gave Him strength and courage to endure all that He went through in His life. His mother had extravagant love for Him.

What about another Mary in the life of Jesus? Mary Magdalene? What would it have been like to be set free from the control of seven demons by this Man who did miracles wherever He went? She was radically changed.

She became one of His most loyal followers. Her name is mentioned prominently in the Bible any time the women followers of Jesus are mentioned. She used her money to support His ministry and followed Him wherever He went. She served Him and ministered to the needs of Jesus and His followers. Her love for Jesus was extravagant. She must have left all to follow Him. She was forgiven much so she loved much. Her extravagant love, devotion, and gratitude were obvious to all.

And there’s this other Mary who made such an impact on Jesus’ life that He said her story would be told wherever the Good News is preached. Mary of Bethany gave away  her life savings, her dowry, her chance for a “happy” life when she broke the alabaster jar and poured out the expensive perfume to anoint Jesus.

Some accounts say she poured it on His head, others on His feet, but we know that oils work well wherever they’re applied on our skin. We women know these things. She really ministered to Jesus at a time when He surely needed it. He knew He was headed for the cross and that a harrowing ordeal that would end in His death was fast approaching. She exhibited extravagant love, giving, gratitude, and worship by this act. And he was touched by her devotion.

These Mary’s were spiritually sensitive women. They knew that Jesus was the Messiah and they treated Him as such. They honored and revered Him. They gave Him their all.

And Jesus honored them. He took care of His mother and made sure that another would take care of her after He was gone.

He honored Mary of Bethany  by proclaiming that her story would be told wherever the Gospel is preached.

He honored Mary Magdalene, who believed in Him all the way to the cross and even to the tomb by appearing to her first after He rose from the dead and sending her as an apostle to the apostles. He gave her a message to deliver to the apostles that He had risen and would ascend to the Father. He showed that He respected her as a witness even though the custom of the time said that a woman was not a credible witness.

And in this story we see the personal nature of His relationship with her. When He said her name she recognized His voice.

He also elevated the status of women by speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well. She, in turn, testified to her whole village about Him, and many Samaritans believed that He was the Savior of the world.

Through the experiences of all these Mary’s – and there were other Mary’s! – and through the Samaritan woman and the women who supported Jesus’ ministry we see that women are very influential. We women can use our influence for good or for evil. These women influenced many men – including Jesus – for good.

They were spiritually sensitive and recognized Him as the Messiah. they helped men to see Him as the Messiah. Women of today can do the same thing. Churches are filled with women. Studies show that Christian women are more devout than Christian men.

So what should we do about that? I believe we should use our influence to bring men to Jesus. Women who walk with Jesus become women who lead men to Jesus. But we should do it in the manner described in 1 Peter 3 – by our kind conduct and godly life win them without a word. The job is to show them Jesus not tell them they have to go to Jesus. We must learn how to tell them the message without telling them what to do about it.

Men need women to show them Jesus. God has made women in such a way that men are attracted to them, and the best and highest purpose for that is to help men to find their way to Jesus.

To bring it home, we wives should truly be helpmeets to our husbands by showing them Jesus and behaving in a way that attracts them to Jesus and impacts them for Jesus. Our extravagant love, devotion, service, and giving are sure to make an impact on our husbands. And our extravagant belief, worship, and intimacy with Jesus should stir up a hunger in their hearts for more of Jesus in their life.

If he’s captivated by our love, he may be captivated by our Lord.

 

This post was originally written for a blog series at https://www.angelpenn.com called Biblical Women of Influence.

Biblical Women of Influence

Go to this series to read about many other biblical women of influence by other wonderful bloggers. It will encourage and inspire you!

Peer Dependency Among Young Christian Moms

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

 

 

I recently attended a conference for Christian moms. The speakers were amazing! The messages were on point. The theme was the importance of friendship among women. I went to the conference alone, because I don’t have many friends in real life, and the few I have couldn’t go to the conference with me.

So I didn’t know a single person there. That’s nothing new. I have gone to many places and events where I have not known anyone at all. But it’s never comfortable. I don’t think I will attend any more conferences alone.

I had a hard time finding a vacant seat at a table even though I was there early. A kind young lady noticed my predicament and called out to me, “Ma’am, do you need a place to sit?” Why yes I do. Thank you very much.

So I gratefully sat down. Ahh, now let the delightful fellowship and refreshing, inspirational words of the speakers flow over my thirsty, lonely soul.

We had a half hour before the first speaker, so we were supposed to get to know the people at our table. I turned to the girl to my left and tried to engage her in conversation. Everything she told me about herself I found truly fascinating. I got all excited and pulled out my phone to tell my family about the connections I was making at the conference. I was so excited and thought God had put me at the perfect table to meet someone I was supposed to connect with. But she didn’t return the sentiment. She was less than interested in talking to me any further. She looked away and talked to everyone but me for the rest of the time.

The table was full of young moms, probably in their late 20’s or early 30’s. They all seemed to hit it off famously. They all talked to each other and shared little glances and giggles throughout the talks. But not one of them looked at me to share a laugh or nod of agreement about something that was said. I felt excluded, maybe even a tiny bit ostracized.

One of the main topics that was addressed in the conference was the problem of loneliness in our culture. I didn’t feel lonely until I sat at that table being ignored by 10 other women.

I surmised that one cause of the distaste the girl to my left felt toward me may have been my age. I’m 55. That must seem old to her. She was shocked that I had and used the Marco Polo app. But far from being impressed, she seemed a bit annoyed that I used it.

I found out that she feels like she learns all that she needs to know from her peers. She watches other young moms who are doing so well and follows their example. She doesn’t feel that she needs any older women in her life to learn from.

I guess I was just lucky enough to sit next to an ageist. And the table seemed to be full of young moms who felt pretty much the same way.

Let me be clear about this. I did try to initiate conversation and interaction. I am an introvert, and I used to be shy. But I’m not anymore. I’m friendly, and doggone it, people like me! 😃

But there seemed to be a foregone conclusion among them that I didn’t have anything to offer. They treated me like a non-person. I hate being treated that way!

I didn’t expect to be worshipped or adored. Just a little common courtesy and acknowledgement of my presence would have been good enough for me.  It was a distressing experience for me. And the result was that after a conference intended to inspire friendship and help to dispel loneliness, I felt more friendless, lonely, and unworthy of love or respect than I did before. And old!

So I hope that someone who may read this will think twice about how they treat their elders. Just because we are a few years older doesn’t mean that we have forgotten what it’s like to be young. We are not archaic. Many of us may know about Twitter and Instagram. I know you think Facebook is for old people, but those of us who use it are sharing wisdom and knowledge that you might actually benefit from.  If you followed anyone besides celebrities and people your own age, you might find out that we are people, too. We deserve at least as much respect and honor as you give to younger people. You can take the time to get to know us and explore the possibility of friendship even if we have gray hair and wrinkles. You might even enjoy our humor and stories that we share.

Our ideas might seem outdated to you, and you may think that we’re wrong because times have changed, and we have been left in the dust. But as you get older yourself, you might start to see some things differently. Times have changed; technology has revolutionized our lives. But people still have the same basic needs. We all need to know that we’re loved. We all need to be understood. We all need someone to care about. We all need family of some sort. We all need people with different strengths, gifts, personalities, and life experiences to add to our lives.

Advances in technology have not changed the way people really are inside. The wisdom from the past may save your life some day. It might at least keep you from making mistakes that you will regret for the rest of your life. I would encourage you to listen to some older people, too, not just the people who are in the same stage of life as you are. Some of the more seasoned moms may have been through some very similar situations that you are going through, and they might be able to give you better advice than your age-mates, because they made it through the situation and found out what worked and what didn’t. They don’t just have theories or hunches. They have real life experience. You can learn from their experience – and their mistakes.

And I hope that some may find this post and decide to treat their elders with respect for their age instead of derision for their antiquated ways and ideas. Ages that seem old to you now will be getting younger and younger to you. Their ways that seem so out of step and old-fashioned and irrelevant to modern life may be ways that you adopt and learn to cherish as you and your children get older. You may decide that they knew something you didn’t know.

My experience at the conference was not an isolated incident. I have had similar experiences in other places and times.  I was not old, but I was considered old by the majority of the people in these places. My age and experience were not respected. I was ignored and set aside.

I think it is a tragic mistake for young moms to only seek counsel from other moms their same age. No matter how smart and savvy a young woman is, experience will always trump untested theories and ideas that seem to be working at the moment.

My experience has taught me that I was way too prideful and arrogant when I was a young mom. I learned the hard way to ask for advice and help from people who had already been through similar experiences.

I know now that I should have been doing a lot more watching, listening, learning, and accepting help and advice from older women than talking to peers and reading and figuring out for myself what was best.

I hope that you will be smarter than I was and you will respect and honor and seek out the wisdom of older women. Especially those who are strong believers and who love God with their whole hearts. The time spent with them, the knowledge they share, and the support that they provide will be worth more to you than gold.

Don’t despise them because they’re old.

 

 

 

 

 

…Continue reading

Give Them Time to Learn and Freedom to Do It Their Way

One of the biggest advantages of homeschooling is the freedom we have. We have the ability to control the curriculum and schedule, literally everything about how we educate our children. Even if we have homeschool standards and restrictions in our state, we can meet those in our own way in keeping with our philosophy and beliefs and what works best for our families. There are so many benefits of homeschooling. A few of them are more efficient use of time and the ability to do it our own way. We can personalize education in a way that is impossible in classroom situations. Any effort to individualize education in public school or any classroom setting requires extreme amounts of energy and planning and organization and record keeping skills that few teachers have. I know I don’t have that kind of energy or skill. Organizing and keeping track of 20 or more students in a classroom all doing work that is truly personal and individual is a mind-boggling task.

More Efficient Use of Time

Far less time is wasted on bathroom and hall passes and class management, discipline, refereeing negative interaction between students, distraction, excessive noise and talking than at school. Since we don’t have any in homeschool. (Or at least we shouldn’t have many of these things!)
Kids don’t get frustrated by having to learn things they are not interested in.
They don’t have to wait for others in the class to finish before they can move on. Each student can move at their own pace.

We have no arbitrary or artificial time constraints as homeschoolers.
Your school time does not have to look ANYTHING like public school or any other classroom arrangement.

Make it Your Own

We can individualize and personalize the “curriculum” for each student. We can build our curriculum, schedule, and daily routine based on the interests, skills, talents, personalities, and preferences of our children. We can even structure our day and use of time according to our preferences and needs. We can let our young ones play a lot. We can let our older ones major on a subject that they are very interested in. We can change from one style to another if we find that something is not working for us. We can let one child use one kind of curriculum and another do things in a totally different way. We don’t have to use workbooks. We can let our children read and write and draw A LOT! There is no one standing and looking over our shoulder telling us how we have to do it. So throw away your old ideas of what school should look like and figure out what works best for you and your family. There are lots of books to read about different styles and philosophies and methods to use in homeschooling. You should read and compare them and see what appeals to you the most and feels like the best fit.

Read books like:

These books will give you an overview of how to shape your own curriculum and how to enjoy homeschooling. I consider these books some of the best books to help you make the most of homeschool freedom.