Safe Haven News – Our Homeschool and Life News

Safe Haven News for November

Last month was eventful for our family. We have had some things to clean up. We have found some cracks in our relationships, so we decided to start working on fixing them up.

Have you ever discovered thought patterns, feelings, or beliefs that are negative or damaging inside yourself? Have you noticed these kinds of things in your children? How should we deal with these kinds of things?

One thing that has helped me identify toxic thinking is teaching by Dr. Caroline Leaf. She has written several books that address changing our thinking so that our actual brains are healthier. Some of her books are “Switch on Your Brain”, “The Perfect You”, “Think and Eat Yourself Smart”, and “Think, Learn, Succeed”.

Another helpful source has been the book “Keep Your Love On” by Danny Silk. This book made a huge impact on me. I think it actually saved my marriage. I can’t recommend this book highly enough. I buy extra copies of this book to give away.

You can get your own copy here:

https://amzn.to/36fiGmO

On another subject, I have been observing some disturbing trends in the discussion of women’s roles. I saw what John Macarthur said about women teachers like Beth Moore. He told them to go home. I agree that women should be home with their children nurturing them. If they don’t, then who is going to? And who did God really give that role to? If we go all the way back to the pattern that God set for families and the reason He put us in families, we see that God made the man, then made the woman, and he gave them the ability to reproduce. He gave women the anatomy to carry and feed the child, and the general disposition to nurture young children.

So I agree that women should be the primary caregivers for children in most cases. But I disagree with him about his contention that women should not teach or be in ministry. I believe that God has gifted women with teaching and organizational and other talents that He intended them to use in the church. The verses he uses are culturally-based directions to the people of that time and not stated as a commandment.

I read what some women said in rebuttal. They said that women should be in the workforce just like men. They are saying that they should not have to stay at home with their children.

Men and women are equal, but they are not the same. We have different roles based on our strengths and gifts.

Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies enthusiastically endorses women staying at home with their children. She sees it as a mandate. God’s order and plan is for men and women to marry and have children, and then for the women to raise the children at home. It’s even better if the husband can work from home and be there to help teach and train the children, too.

I realize that this scenario seems almost impossible in the modern world, but I know that there are many people who are so determined to raise their own children that they make it work. They find a way to make a living from a business they can run from home. And God multiplies your finances and resources when you are trusting Him to provide.

It didn’t used to seem so impossible in generations before ours. Life seems to be very expensive now, and living frugally is more difficult now because of the demands of our modern world. So some couples feel like they both have to work to make ends meet.

But, however we feel on the subject of women staying home to raise their children, the other subject that MacArthur brought up about prohibiting women from being preachers, I don’t think we can let that pass.

Here’s what I read on the website Pulpit and Pen:

“Beth Moore is a feminist who is in grave rebellion against God. She travels the country preaching to mixed audiences when the Scriptures are clear, women can’t preach.”

But I don’t think the scriptures say that women can’t preach. The women who were addressed in 1 Cor. 14:34 and 1 Tim. 2:11,12 were not women in authority but women in the congregation who were unruly and noisy during services. The many women that we read of throughout the scriptures who obviously filled positions of authority in the early church were not the ones being addressed by Paul in these letters.

I found this article very helpful: https://bibleresources.org/women-in-ministry/

I think it’s important that we all think through and study these issues so that we can develop a clear understanding of the real intent of these scriptures telling women to stay silent in church.

I think we need to think deeply about the roles of men and women.

We need to take an honest look at how children are being affected by the current trends in child care. And we need to realize that the Bible says that there is no male or female. We are all one in Christ.

Each of us must decide what we believe, and we have to ask the Lord how He wants us to raise our children. But we also need to interpret the Bible correctly and conduct our family affairs in a way that is biblical and pleasing to God. Even when we are going against the tide of popular trends, we need to ask the Lord for His leading and obey Him and trust Him to take care of us and our families.

By the way, guess who is scheduled to preach at our church one Sunday next month?

Little ole me! And I’m pretty sure I’m not in rebellion against God!

Pray for me. I have no idea what I’m going to say.

But I’ll study and pray, and I’m sure the Spirit will give me something good to give to the people that day. I don’t think the Spirit minds that I’m a woman.

Thanks for reading our news! I pray that your homeschool journey is full of love, adventure, and learning all that your family will need to fulfill the call and purposes that God has for you.

Remember to enjoy the journey! 

Penney Douglas at Safe Haven Homeschooling

Add This to Your History Curriculum

https://ywampublishing.com/p-367-christian-heroes-then-nowbr5-book-gift-set-books-11-15.aspx?affiliateid=11633

If you are studying history but are finding it a little dull and irrelevant, I have a suggestion that will take your history studies to a new level. Why not study Christian heroes, Christian character, missions, faith, different countries, cultures, and world history all at the same time using YWAM Publishing’s biographies. They are also available in Spanish!

These books have it all!

From the website:

“Readers of all ages love these fast-paced adventures that take them to the heart of a nation, an era, and what it means to live a life dedicated to serving God and those He loves. Parents report that even kids who have never liked to read have eagerly read all of these – sometimes more than once!”

If this sounds like something that you and your children need in your homeschool curriculum, check out YWAM Publishing at http://ywampublishing.com/default.aspx?affiliateid=11633

 

What is the Spirit of Homeschooling?

Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash

 

Why do you homeschool?

  • Do you homeschool your children so that they can have an excellent academic education so they can compete in this world and be successful in the eyes of the world?
  • Or is your reason more along the lines of protecting your children from false teaching and passing on your faith and values to them?
  • Are you most concerned about building a warm, loving, nurturing family?

Is your answer to the question “all of the above”?

Parents homeschool for many different reasons. And they homeschool in many different ways.

And that’s a good thing.

Because every child is different, and every family is different.

But I think the spirit of homeschooling in general is freedom.

    • As homeschoolers, we can do what we think is best for our children and for ourselves as moms, and what is the least stressful for all of us.

Of course, we should pray and find out what God thinks about the way we should homeschool and what we should be sure to cover.

Photo by Shitota Yuri on Unsplash

But always remember that you do not have to run your homeschool like a classroom at school. Homeschooling is more of a tutoring situation than a classroom situation. You are there to support and encourage your children in their learning. You are a facilitator of learning.

Which means you supply the resources, opportunities and framework for the things that they absolutely need to learn – the basics of reading, writing and math – and then support their efforts to learn about the things that interest them.

This freedom is a privilege that few have in the world. So let’s make the most of it.

Let’s give our children the best that the Lord has for them, so that they can be prepared for the calling that God has for their lives.

Photo by Shitota Yuri on Unsplash

 

And I have one little request.

Make your routine sustainable, enjoyable, and delightful for the whole family. Because I want to see you continue homeschooling as long as the Lord tells you to do it. And you won’t be able to if it’s drudgery or if there is anger and resentment on both sides of the homeschool coin.

Find what works best for you. Try different methods and routines. Ask the Lord to help you figure out your style, how your kids learn best, and all the little details like duration of lessons, type of method(s), and whether to keep grades and other records.

Exercise your freedom, and make your homeschool reflect your values and the way you really want to live your life. Give your kids a stress-free childhood and freedom to learn the things they want to learn.

The Benefits of Outdoor Time for Boys – Charlotte Mason Had it Right!

The Benefits of Outdoor Time

Charlotte Mason said that we should:

“Never be within doors when you can rightly be without.” (Vol. 1 p.42).

She even encouraged mothers to get outside more!

She encouraged us to let children discover and collect specimens of nature. And let them see what happens with them. Nature study is an obvious reason to get our kids outdoors more.

“Do children keep tadpoles, and silkworms, and caterpillars in these days? Very few have given us the results of their own observations. We have many capital descriptions from books, and that is better than nothing, but the very essence of natural history is that it should, so far as possible, be drawn direct from Nature.”

For more CM tidbits like this check out this site , Charlotte Mason Help.

Our family has done lots of collecting and observing caterpillars, tadpoles, and various and sundry creatures, as you will see from the pictures in this post!

When boys are outside they often feel a sense of freedom and adventure. It gives them the opportunity to move around and encourages them to explore. They discover things about the world around them. They interact with nature. They get grounded. It clears out the cobwebs and helps them to think more clearly. They can exercise their muscles and get stronger and keep their body healthy.

There are many ways to get our boys outside, even if we live in the city.

We can go to a park.

They can walk around the neighborhood if they’re old enough.

Or we can take them on walks. And sometimes they can be nature walks.

We can set up a trampoline or swing set for them to play and climb on.

We can do school outside. I used to take all the kids outside and read a story to them.

We can have picnics at a park or even in our own yard. Kids love that, and it’s nice for clean up, too!

They can ride bikes, skateboards, or scooters in a safe place. You may have to find a good place for these activities.

The Benefits of Outdoor Time According to Some Real Live Boys

For my research I consulted some “expert boys”, my four sons!

This is my firstborn son, Shawn! (The taller one.)

Shawn had some thoughts on the matter:

“It’s the best environment for building their imagination. Interacting with nature, the trees, the rocks and everything inspires the imagination and creativity. Outdoors and nature – Creation – is inspirational.” He credits a lot of his ability to think well and deeply to the amount of time he spent outside and how much he played in nature. It clears the mind and gets it unclogged.

He continues: “For boys, it creates a sense of what the real world is. It gives you the sense that life is real. It is a tangible, visceral experience. Things matter, and what’s going on around you matters. It helps you understand the value of life. It helps with the restlessness of boys. And gives them a sense of peace. Boys can feel cagey and gloomy if they’re indoors all the time.

They feel a sense of freedom, like they’re not trapped. Overall, it’s very important developmentally. It instills a sense of confidence being a part of the wide open world instead of cloistered inside all the time. Like you’re a part of it all. You can breathe and move even though you’re outside of a familiar area.”

When Shawn and his friend were about 10 years old they built a treehouse. they looked around for resources and figured out what they could do with the things they found. A lot of creativity was inspired by the time they spent together outside.

 

This is my second son, Patrick! Here’s his contribution to the discussion about outdoor time, from a boy’s perspective (now a man).

Being outdoors calms ADD symptoms.

Patrick is 23 now. He says being in the outdoors helps the body-brain connection. It helps boys focus when it comes time to sit down with the books.

“It helps them center when they’re alone in the wilderness. They become more in touch with their inner being. It helps them focus clearly. It takes away all distractions; no TV, no media, no phone. It stabilizes you. It anchors you to reality. It shows that you are capable of being fatigued. You learn that you can’t be dependent on the system. You learn survival skills. You become free-thinking and independent.  You understand your limits; you can get hungry, thirsty, cold, every mosquito bite is a lesson, and you can get hurt and keep going. You find out how tough you are. You can test your limits.”

This is Morgan, my third son.

Morgan is 18 now. He says:

“Open spaces are good for a boy’s mental state. There are a lot of physiological health benefits, from soaking up the sunlight, and breathing fresh air that is not artificially controlled or produced. The sensations of soft breezes and the sound of a fountain or running water of any kind tends to incline the mind to organize and sort things that don’t generally get sorted out until you sleep; generally promoting a better sense of awareness and well-being.”

This is my youngest son, Garrett!

 

These are the thoughts of a real live boy!

Garrett is 15 now. He gave me his thoughts on the importance of boys having outside time. He said that it makes boys feel strengthened when they’re outside. They can breathe fresh air. When they’re outside, they can run free. They can breathe freer. They can get rid of the stuffy feeling of being cooped up inside. In his own words, “When you want to run you can just run. If you want to jump, you can just jump.” The wide open spaces make them feel free and able to use their energy. He said he enjoys walking through the woods. He likes to explore and walk along a path and see the different things that are there each time.

He loves to get on the monkey bars. He likes to swing from one bar to the next. It’s a really invigorating feeling to play tag. His favorite part of swinging is going so high that it gives you a tickly feeling in your stomach. He loves swimming, too. He likes to test his breath capacity and see how long it takes him to swim to the other side. He likes to find objects that have been thrown in the water. It strengthens his core, his lungs, his arms and legs, and his heart.

It gives him a new perspective when he walks outside. He observed that “There’s a part of your brain that doesn’t get worked unless you’re outside. It helps you process things. It makes you feel better emotionally when you can sit quietly in nature and see the beauty. It gives you a peaceful feeling.”

To sum it up, being outside is good for boys in a variety of ways: Mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and educationally. Charlotte Mason said we should let our children spend time outside for 4, 5, or even 6 hours every day. If you can do that, I say do it! If we lived in a place that was accessible to nature, I’m sure we would be outside more often. But we can all make it a goal to get our kids outside as much as possible. As you can see from the thoughts of some “real live boys”, it’s definitely a worthy goal!