Prayer for My Husband’s Affection

This prayer is taken from “The Power of a Praying Wife”, page 72.

Lord, I pray for open physical affection between my husband and me. Enable each of us to lay aside self-consciousness or apathy and be effusive in our display of love. Help us to demonstrate how much we care for and value each other. Remind us throughout each day to affectionately touch one another in some way. Help us to not be cold, undemonstrative, uninterested, or remote. Enable us to be warm, tender, compassionate, loving, and adoring. Break through any hardheadedness on our part that refuses to change and grow. If one of us is less affectionate to the other’s detriment, bring us into balance.

Where any lack of affection has planted a negative view of marriage in our children, or taught them an incorrect way of relating to a marriage partner, help us to model the right way so that they can observe it. Show us how to openly confess our errors to them and demonstrate our commitment to live differently.

Change our habits of indifference or busyness. May we not so take each other for granted that we don’t make the effort to reach out and touch one another with affection. Help us not to weaken the marriage through neglect of this vital means of communication. I pray that we always “greet one another with a kiss of love” (1 Peter 5:14). I know that only the transforming power of the Holy Spirit can make changes that last. I trust You to transform us and make us the husband and wife You called us to be.

From The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

Fighting for Your Marriage

1. Make your relationship with God number one. Really. Draw closer to God. He is the best husband you could ever have. He is the only one who has true unconditional love for you. He always expects the best from you. He always pays attention to you. His thoughts are always toward you. Go to Him to get your needs met. Your need for affirmation, for unconditional love, even affection. Your husband can’t meet these needs. If you put your husband in this place, he will fail you, and really you are making an idol of him. God always treats you with love. God loves you with 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love: He knows your heart and your motives. He expects the best from you and doesn’t assume the worst about you. He is never rude to you. He is never mean or harsh or moody. He always pays attention to you. You are always on His mind! He delights in you!

2. Deal with problems from the past. Deal with your own brokenness – mindsets, wounds from the family you were raised in, generational sins and patterns, thought patterns and behaviors. Ask God to show you wrong beliefs about yourself and about God. Break agreements with the enemy and the thoughts he puts in your mind. Ask the Lord, “Where is the brokenness? Where is the healing to be found?” When you find something like an attitude of self-hatred or inferiority or fear or anger that is constantly present in the way you think, there is probably a stronghold that needs to be broken. There is a 3-step process to breaking a stronghold in your life.

1) Repent
2) Renounce
3) Come out of agreement

Then command these spirits by their name, such as spirit of self-hatred, to “Go, in Jesus’ name!”

3. Change the way you relate.  We are here to learn how to love. God uses marriage to transform us. Here’s a quote from Love & War: 

“We are, all of us, utterly committed and deeply devoted to our “style,” our “way,” our “approach to life”. We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It’s called marriage.”

We all have to face our style of relating and see where we need to change.

Women must usually face where we are controlling and manipulative and where we are desperately clingy and needy.

Men usually have to face where they are passive and where they are domineering, harsh or violent.

 

 

4. Change your way of communicating.   There are four basic ways of communicating.

Passive Communication – Core belief: “You matter and I don’t.” It is based on self-protection. These people react out of fear of the other person’s anger or disapproval. They act like they have no needs.

Aggressive Communication – Core belief: “I matter. You don’t.” This is motivated by fear and selfishness. He will get what he needs by taking it.

Passive-aggressive Communication – Core belief: “You matter… No, not really!” They manipulate and control others through active deceit and subtle-but-deadly forms of punishment. They use sarcasm, veiled threats, manipulative use of Scriptures, judgments in the form of counsel, and withholding love.

Assertive Communication – Core belief: “You matter and so do I.” This is the best kind of communication. It is based on honor and respect. These people refuse to have relationships or conversations where both people do not have a high, equal value.

An important point to remember about communication is that the first goal of communication is understanding, not agreement.

5. Do spiritual warfare. Break agreements with the enemy when he tries to get you to think negatively about your spouse. Recognize and identify the attacks of the enemy against your marriage, your mate and yourself. Pray for wisdom about how to deal with the attacks. Take negative thoughts captive and throw them out. Bind the works of the enemy. Pray together as a couple and do spiritual warfare together. Help your mate fight the attacks against their mind. Bring to light what is happening so they will realize that they are under attack, then stand strong with them against the enemy and in the name of Jesus, make him flee!

If you want to go into more depth on these topics, I recommend that you read:

Love & War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Dreamed Of by John and Stasi Eldredge

and

Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk

Valentine’s Day Ideas

Here are a bunch of Valentine freebies from Currclick that can help you with notebooking pages, a mini helper that contains lots of different valentines (some specifically addressed to family members, like brother and sister), matching and sorting cards for words that start with V, even a Valentine’s Day class party (Live Class) for the older kids.

Free Valentines Day resources from Currclick

Here is another Valentine freebie from Currclick!

And a Freebie for Copywork!

Valerie at The Crafty Classroom shows us how to make a cute Valentine that includes a hidden cross in the middle of it. It makes a very pretty craft that you could use as a card. She also has Valentine’s Day Bible Verse Coloring Pages at her blog The Crafty Classroom.

Apples 4 the Teacher has lots of ideas here.

Here are some online games with a Valentines Day theme.

I got a waffle iron that made heart-shaped waffles and served those for breakfast on Valentine’s Day. The kids loved those!

Fiona put hers together to create a butterfly!

If you want your kids to make some beautiful hearts during the days leading up to Valentines’ Day, I have pinned lots of beautiful, colorful hearts that are easy to draw and make on Pinterest. You can find them here on my Pinterest board.

I made this one myself after looking through lots of hearts on Pinterest.

My warm heart on cool background

Of course, you will want to cover the history of Valentine’s Day, too. It is very interesting and spiritually encouraging. St. Valentine was a real bishop who lived around 270 A.D. in Rome. The Roman emperor had banned marriage because he wanted men to be soldiers who were only focused on fighting for the empire, not concerned about family. But Bishop Valentine knew this was wrong and unfair to couples that were in love and wanted to be married. So he performed marriage ceremonies for them in secret. But he was found out and imprisoned. His jailer heard that he could work miracles, so he brought his blind daughter to Valentine. He taught her about God and prayed for her, and she was healed. Her family loved the bishop and wanted his life to be saved, but the emperor had him put to death for his beliefs. This may not sound that encouraging to some. But to me, it illustrates again that God does do miracles, and he uses them to draw people to Himself. People are looking in all the wrong places for a supernatural experience, and I want to tell as many people as I can that we serve a living God who cares about our needs, and He will suspend natural laws for His children to answer their prayers and heal their sicknesses and diseases and do other miracles for them.

You can read more about the history here at this webpage, The Holiday Spot.

Many people celebrate romantic love and friendship on this day. I prefer to make it about love for our family. We make valentines for each other, and I do nice things for my children to let them know I love them. I encourage them to look for ways to show extra love to each other, too. My husband usually gets me something, and we go out if we can. But throughout the day, I like to do special things for the kids and am even more intentional in letting them see how much I love them and how much God loves us.

National Week of Prayer for Homeschool Families

And on this – the final day of the NATIONAL WEEK OF PRAYER FOR HOMESCHOOL FAMILIES – we’ve been asked to pray for REVIVAL in our families:

Please pray for the Holy Spirit to do a mighty work in
homeschooling families across the world. Pray for hearts to be
humbled and submitted to the Lord. Pray for true repentance and
turning from sin. Pray for entire families to seek the face of
God together, crying out for His presence in their homes. Pray
for a harvest of souls through the witness of the power of the
Holy Spirit in the lives of homeschoolers.

Psalm 130:1-6 ~ Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord;
Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive to the voice of
my supplications. If You, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord,
who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, that You may
be feared. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I
do hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch
for the morning. Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.
Kim Winter’s photo.